On 29 August 2017, I was taking my pregnancy test and found out that I’m pregnant with my second child. I was so nervous yet so happy that our prayer had been answered. My head spinning that I’m not so prepared that it will be that soon! Few days later, I shared this big news to one of my friends and she mentioned about one of the famous gynecologists in Jakarta which I decided to go since few of my friends went to that gynae too.
As months passed by, I still try to took care N (my first child) on my own thinking that this pregnancy will be as easy as the first and I will be physically strong enough to do it on my own. We even went to Disneyland Hong Kong for family trip on December just the three of us to make this as a memorable trip for N and he will not need to wait for few years to go to Disneyland to wait for his little brother. During travelling back and forth, sometimes I have deal with bad constipation, hemorrhoids and pain/weak leg around thigh area which makes had happened on my first pregnancy too.
Every month I have visited my gynecologist, he will said everything is good, baby size and growth development is normal. We even have found out that the baby gender will be a boy! Then one day, I was wondering how was my baby looks like and I said to my husband “Hey! Next time, on my next checkup I will definitely asked the doctor because I wonder how he looks like”
Then on my 5thmonth of pregnancy, my husband and I have decided that I will give birth in Bandung because it close to my family members. Therefore, we went to Bandung (my hometown) and visit my favourite gynecologist (he was also my first gynae for N) to check on my pregnancy. As I not forget, during his ultrasound scanning I requested him to see my baby face. From there, I was told that no mom wants to hear “birth defect”; my baby has cleft lip. He was informative person and show me reassurance that everything will be okay. I am glad that I was told by him instead that this can be fixed and the rest of his organ is healthy.
*Above is my baby’s ultrasound picture that shown he was a cleft baby, I would say that this is the most clearest picture that he had shown and tell us about it because after the next few months checked up, he was often blocking his face with his hands which makes us hardly to see his face. He must be a shy boy 🙂
I will not be lying, I was so sad when I heard the news. Thinking what have I done wrong? Everything seems not right. I blame and regrets myself for the things I have did in my life that may caused this to be happening. It makes my heartache when I thought that I sad for him.
Here is one of my favourite quote that i hold deeply and would like to share to all mothers out there who may need to hear it in any circumstances you are facing.
“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and also trust in me” John 14:1